I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
