You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
