she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
