You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
