I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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