Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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