Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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