You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
