she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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