I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
