I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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