i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize