I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
