am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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