I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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