I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize