So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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