i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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