I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
