He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
