i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Pants are for mortals
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