I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
