Hey man sorry I got all grabby
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
