Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
