Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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