New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
