they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Vodka?
Forever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
