I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
