Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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