Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
