fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
