I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize