i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
