I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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