you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
