id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
