Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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