New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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