You work out of a Hotel?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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