your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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