then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
