he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
