Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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