if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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