she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
