that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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