we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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