Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
