Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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