I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
