you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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