How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
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In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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