he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
