My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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