This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
