It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
