Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
