that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
