David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
