Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
