So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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