Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
