I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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