Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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