I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
