So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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