Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
