Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
