I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
