Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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