Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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